What’s with the chickens squawking in the suburbs, for that matter, the city?

When I was six-years-old, screaming like a banshee, the roosters clucked at my heels furiously.

The Grandma and Grandpap Yezek were farmers in Parfittown, PA. Inquistive, I was looking at the chicken coop, munching on grain, corn and vermin. The roosters were protecting the chickens. Bellowing loudly, with the god-awful screech of sunlight, the roosters crow with an earsplitting volume for 5000 years. Give or take.

What’s with the chickens squawking in the suburbs, for that matter, the city?

Rural farmers, in the yawning dawn, in the 1950’s or 1960’s tend to the chickens; four or ten youngling or old, fresh water, pellets, top-notch chicken wire for the foxes and hawks and plenty of sunshine on the backs, fresh, cool eggs and maybe a chicken coop.

Here’s a tip. It’s work.

Backyard idiots takes exertion and fortitude. Chickens take a lot of work, not for the mundane. Your bored with the chickens like FarmVille 2 on Facebook? Throw the chickens out. It’s too hard. Next, please.

Susie Coston, (NBCNews) Farm Sanctuary based in Watkins Glen, NY, wander aimlessly on the streets, abandoned backyard birds. About 250 are waiting for homes from the shelter. It’s “misplaced rural nostalgia”, where owner Mary Britton Clouse at the Chicken Run Rescue in Minneapolis, Minn.  http://www.nbcnews.com/health/backyard-chickens-dumped-shelters-when-hipsters-cant-cope-critics-say-6C10533508

It’s messy, labor-intensive, smelly, pests abound and what about the feces?

Defecation is funky. Birds don’t pee; a useless factoid. No bladder. Everything is reproduced with a large plopping. http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/the-digestive-system-of-a-chicken.html  Borrow your cat’s little scoop and have at it. The cat’s scowling face, hauty attitude and mean look doesn’t matter. Ignore it. It’s bad vibes for the poultry and you, when you breathe bacteria. It’s unappetizing.The chicken coop nesting box is clean and be pleasant place to be. http://hencam.com/faq/chicken-manure-management/

As a side note, my Aunt Annie, barefooted, sporadic teeth and a housedress, (I was a tot) lopped off their chicken-heads with an axe. A clean break, no fuss and the chick meanders for a while, disoriented I’m sure, for one-minute...and the chicken dropped dead. Chicken dinner Sunday, with mashed potatoes to boot. Well, I digress.

The beautiful birds with bright colors and hues live to 15 years or so. Conversely, full of hormones, antibiotics and stuff, is short-lived. The chicken has a dismal life. Six-months old, pellets, water and the kill room; never once breathing the air, the rain, snow and sunshine.

 Food, Inc., the movie, is an eye-opener. Clearly, it’s too late. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1286537/

Before you consider this:

Get yourself a chicken coop. http://www.familiesraisingchickens.com The coop is their roost; they interact, lay eggs and even go to the bathroom. Get familiar with the coop.

Fresh feed is important. http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-much-and-when-to-feed-chickens.html 

Fresh water, clean water, please. http://www.strombergschickens.com/prod_detail_list/founts-waterers?s=ADW&gclid=CIfNrLfkp7gCFSJlMgod_2AAeg 

Clean, clean, clean your mess.

Before I had the stroke, I was a journalist, free-lance, for the Trib in Greensburg, Penna.            http://triblive.com/home/  Memoirs of a family farmer, about 15 years ago ”Time Waits for No One” by Clair L. Frye noted how much has changed. I interviewed him. He recalled the pick-up full of eggs on Route 31. He parked the truck, tended to the chores and 24 hours later and eggs were gone. Full of change and bills, he stuffed his jeans. Townfolks, farmers and passers-by knew Clair and the truck. One dozen eggs, $.15 cents. People trusted.

So, eggspect your produce. http://www.agriculture.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/gateway/PTARGS_0_2_24476_10297_0_43/AgWebsite/ProgramDetail.aspx?name=Egg-Fruit-&-Vegetable-Inspection&navid=12&parentnavid=0&palid=53&     

The wandering chickens on the streets? Buy some eggs and be done with it.

http://oklahoma4h.okstate.edu/aitc/lessons/extras/facts/chickegg.html 

Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens.

(Again, a useless factoid.)